Jan 21, 2004
Today we worked on IF and Remember the time our video tributes they are looking really awesome, I think i am kind of messing up a lot because my knees hurt really bad on these parts and I cant do it like it is supposed to be done. If you see me tomorrow ask to see my knees so you can see the pain, they are bruised beyond belief.
We are getting our band together and its totally awesome. We got some people to audition for drummer and bassist isnt that great? yeah. I hope we can get together soon and jam and what not. I dunno whenever we can. Next saturday would be good, or this sunday. That would be awesome.
I heard about an alternative for me to college next year and it is about a disciplship (sp?) training. I dunno it sounds totally awesome. i dont think anyone of my elder people would approve of it that much, but I am going to pray about it and see if that is what God really wants me to do and whatnot. I'm considering it though.
I have a lot of people to dance in my honors project. So for a while I am going to be in my dance mode so sorry if everytime you see me I have headphones blarring and i looked dazed and in a trance... it is just because I am in a trance.. lol ok done//InHiShadow
Posted at 09:24 pm by inhishadow
Jan 17, 2004
For Love is strong as Death
I am always putting song titles or lyrics as my entry titles anywho. Last night we danced at parkland and finally someone noticed ME dancing and told me I did well or they said something like," you did your thing girl you did" haha it was great. After that I got dressed really quickly and went to the show at the Skatepark with Shari. Missed the band I was going there to see but oh well I guess its not that important. We came in when Down On Luck was finishing. Heard One From None and Element of One. They were ok.
Saw a loot of people there: Wes, Adam, Rob, Jose, Stephen, Sara T, Katie, Analise, Justin C. and just a lot of people oh! and Adrienne... haha I liked her shoe so much I licked it but on accident instead of licking the top of her shoe I licked the bottom which was super duper extremely nasty. Note to self: never lick someones shoe EVER again just because you think the shoes are really hott and sexy... haha
Today I think that we are supposed to have band practice... hopefully at Justin's house because I dont know if the people here can tolerate it for a long period of time :)!
Last night was kind of awkward. Jesse was all interested in me trying to get a date for prom. I insisted that I didnt NEED a date I could just go by myself. Then he was asking what if someone younger than you asked you?! I was like what the crap?!? He is trying to set me up a date and its coming out as a sympathy thing since I dont have one. I really dont like it. I seriously plan to go by myself if a friend doesnt ask me to go, that would rock but yeah okie dokie.
I Plan on running for Prom Queen oh yes I wont get it but HEY it would be awesome to try right? Basically I am doing it just for jokes and fun because people are gonna be like WHOA SYLVIA IS RUNNING?! Isn't she the chick that does the morning announcements? lol... thats hilarious//InHiShadow
Posted at 09:13 am by inhishadow
Jan 16, 2004
I thought about FIRE in the sky
Yesterday was really awkward.. I was inducted into the National Honors Society with a lot of people who dont talk to me :( So I was alone. Then, wouldnt you know it, they forgot my name on the program... so they made an announcement saying that they appologized if I was anyones kid and that they would get things straightened out and add my name and send my rents a copy. It was kind of useless because I didnt have anyone there for me. the whole time I was prespiring and wigglin' my toes hoping that things would move along faster and I could leave. :(
After that work was awesome. I didnt do anything at all but clean. So I was bored and I wrote letters to my mom and my pen pal :)! I got a fitness evaulation for the heck of it to see if I had improved any since last year and to my surprise I had.
Body Mass
34.5%-----#30.7%
That and I had lost 15 pounds. NOT important but it was just for the heck of it. She said that I was "healthy" now as opposed to last time I got one. I guess thats good umm dont really care/// lalalala
I think I am undatable. I mean not that I date right now and I really do think about dating a lot if you want to know why ask anywho.. because i was thinking about it, and I am really impossible. I have mood swings all the time, sometimes I am fun to be around sometimes I am annoying, I am just really blunt about things (honest) but not in one of those mean ways. I dunno i just think I am not that datable in guys eyes but who knows.... btw dont comment on this part of my entry its just me rambling//InHiShadow
Posted at 07:19 am by inhishadow
Jan 12, 2004
Listening to Now 14, Jennifer got it from Best Buy. Today was cool. I updated my page again, I realized I spend way too much time online. It is consuming me. So i believe I am going to focus that attention elsewhere..:cough: :cough: God :cough:
I'll still get online most definitely but I really need to cut back. I mean I've pretty much cut down tremedously on the amount of TV I watch, and radio I listen to but it just made me get on the computer more.
Tomorrow should be cool I have to work so that means time to get in trouble with dance team that stinks doesnt it!? Yeah it does. Hopefully I can learn the part that I missed when I had to leave for work last Thursday before practice so it wont be that hard.
Yeah, I needed practice off today so I'm glad I got that. Going to try to go to Charlie's show Friday.
I keep hearing rumors about dating and stuff involving me. I wish they'd go away//InHiShadow
Posted at 09:19 pm by inhishadow
Jan 11, 2004
Kirk is always listening to the best music. I swanee I need to borrow some of his cds they are awesome.
Last night went to see Relient K, Soul something.. danget man, and this chick Layden Maria...?!?! i dunno anywho it was really awesome. I loved it. We got to sit on the floor in the middle. Got some good pictures a bit blurry but it was nice. I signed up to sponser a kid because i have always wanted to do it but I realized after the fact that it was $30 a month I dont know if I can pull that off but with a second job I am getting I hope I can. I really love doing that or just the idea that i can help someone in need, like others helped me when I was in need. anywho... got a free cd when i signed up with some awesome music.
A lot of people last night were bummed by how things went but I really thought that everything was great I loved just soaking up the moment. I saw a preview of the movie "the passion of Christ" apparently all my friends had already knew about that movie but i hadnt and the images that were shown just made me cry// i started balling and it just hit me, I cant really describe it but it just did. I really want to see that movie lets get a group together and go ok?!?! yeah im up for it, and I'll buy it when it comes out on video.
Yeah i am intelligent a little I guess but the fact of the matter is I forget a lot. I need to constantly be reminded of things. When I saw those images it just was a quick reminder that I really needed. I guess everyone needs them every now and again. Today I tried to talk to my friend but i couldnt because I knew it was gossip and i even started to then those images from the preview flashed in my head and I just couldnt do that. ok i am rambling this is my longest entry woohoo yay to me now sleep so i can go to church tomorrow.... //InHiShadow
Posted at 12:38 am by inhishadow
Jan 9, 2004
Snow thank goodness! Now I think i may be able to go to the Relient K concert if it didnt get cancelled and the offer still stands that would let me go. Katie and Mike are watching 28 days later. Cool i guess I find the sounds amusing. I stink i need a shower.. yeah you wanted to know...
I updated my site and my page here so now they both have music suckas.
I got some people liking Blindside thats freaking awesome. Good stuff yo. I am bored. Going to go talk to some more hopeless romantics werd.
/?~! InHiShadow
Posted at 01:13 pm by inhishadow
Jan 7, 2004
Today was great. As was yesterday. I am a little tired from the busy-ness of it all but its none the less fun. The only thing I dread about my day is going to 4th since its math. I dunno what it is I just cant stand math :(
Church was great tonight. I know I hear them talk about how people should act and what a true christian is and isnt all the time but for some reason i like how it was 'stated' tonight. Makes you kind of sit back and think are we really worshipping God?
Alrighty. tomorrow is work friday is the game... danget man thats it. bye!
p.s. i cant go see relient K friday because of the game :tear:
//~InHiShadow
Posted at 09:17 pm by inhishadow
Jan 4, 2004
Staying at Jamies was indeed different but it feels great to be home. Church was wierd today because I saw my ex with his new interest. It hurt like someone stabbing you in the heart a thousand times and then turning it slowly counterclockwise and pulling your heart out of your chest... ok well maybe not that bad I am being over dramatic but it hurt. I am willing to put up with it though because God doesnt want me to be with him and i should be happy I am doing what he wants me to do right? yes right. I prayed about it and by the end of the second service I was at peace with it. so thats a good thing..
Yes I think this no dating thing is going to go along fine. I am still working on it but it will. I just have to keep my standards high. There are only a few people I would even consider for a relationship now and none of them are dating right now either so good stuff.
Tomorrow is school... its sucks.. dont want to go.. please.. dont make me no/.......
dies....
went bowling tonight with acacia, shari, ashes, and jesse... kind of a bad game but it was fun as poo. We are starting the band up again and now I am going to be a rhytm guitarist isnt that nifty? sure it is. I hope that everthing works out well and stuff.. I am going to sell my drums and get a BMX bike and that will be awesome and then I am going to do some stuff like tricks.. then buy a guitar and amp and maybe save up for some recording time... idunno bye! //InHiShadow
Posted at 08:25 pm by inhishadow
Jan 2, 2004
Say what you're thinking right now...
If you didnt know I was supposed to go to Ohio this weekend but misunderstandings led me to staying here, well I am going to go stay at Jamie Tillotsons house so if you want to hang out just call me. It should be fun.
Last night was awful... people here just dont understand me no matter how hard I try so I am just going to STOP trying. yes, maybe that will work maybe?!?!
Here is a song i like:
OSF: Second from the right
second window from the right or the window with the light
burning as i drive by wondering...
whatcha doing are you thinking of me
do you even remember me
well it kills me to think that you're ok
I see the joy in your eyes i wish i had your composer tonight
but im feeling hurt on the inside
i dont know how to get away from this hell that i create
im so glad your happy
i just wish i could say the same
im glad that you've moved on
why cant i move on
my heart wont let me tonight
im glad that you've moved on
why cant i move on
my heart wont let me tonight
our last goodbye as i practice for my major role in this play
pretending that Im ok
pretending that I dont care
as I turn and walk away
I turn and look at your pretty face
only to see that you are gone were you ever really there
Im glad you've moved on
why cant i move on
my heart wont let me tonight
Im glad you've moved on
why cant i move on
my heart wont let me tonight
~*InHiShadow
Posted at 08:00 am by inhishadow
Dec 31, 2003
Today is new years eve, its my stepdads birthday but i didnt get him anything. Oh well, i guess i will get him a late gift or something if I ever find something he will like. Today I am in a blah mood. My ex is going to date my friend as I said before. I am actually happy for them both. I love them both and I want them both to be happy. I wish them the best of luck.
As for Me- I am not dating, I am NOT... ahh its my new years resolution I suppose. As phony as most of those usually are, I am going to try to keep that one. Like I said it would have to be someone i could see myself with the rest of my life. Someone whom I knew completely inside and out. Someone who didnt care about how pale, tall, skinny, fat, I was, how blue my eyes are, or how brown my hair is, or the fact that my teeth aren't straight. They would love me for the person inside, my soul. Someone who will fall in love with my soul will win my heart. I will wait patiently... hopefully Pray for me :)
Now here are some lyrics, I usually do this all the time so get used to it....
"Greenwheel: Breathe"
I played the fool today and i see us vanishing into the crowd
longing for home again, but home is a feeling I buried in you
I'm alright, I'm alright it only hurts when i breathe
I can't ask for things to be still again and I can't ask for you to offer the world through your eyes
longing for home again, but home is a feeling I buried in you
I'm alright, I'm alright it only hurts when i breathe
My window through which nothing hides and everything seems
I'm counting the signs and cursing the miles inbetween
home is a feeling I've buried in you
I'm alright, I'm alright it only hurts when I breathe
"Daniel Bedingfield: If your not the one" If you're not the one then why does my soul feel glad today?
If you're not the one then why does my hand fit yours this way?
If you are not mine then why does your heart return my call
If you are not mine would I have the strength to stand at all
I never know what the future brings But I know you are here with me now
We'll make it through And I hope you are the one I share my life with
I don't want to run away but I can't take it,
I don't understand If I'm not made for you then why does my heart tell me that I am?
Is there any way that I can stay in your arms?
If I don't need you then why am I crying on my bed?
If I don't need you then why does your name resound in my head?
If you're not for me then why does this distance maim my life?
If you're not for me then why do I dream of you as my wife?
I don't know why you're so far away But I know that this much is true
We'll make it through And I hope you are the one I share my life with
And I wish that you could be the one I die with
And I pray in you're the one I build my home with
I hope I love you all my life
I don't want to run away but I can't take it,
I don't understand If I'm not made for you then why does my heart tell me that I am
Is there any way that I can stay in your arms?
'Cause I miss you, body and soul so strong that it takes my breath away
And I breathe you into my heart and pray for the strength to stand today
'Cause I love you, whether it's wrong or right
And though I can't be with you tonight
And know my heart is by your side
I don't want to run away but I can't take it,
I don't understand If I'm not made for you then why does my heart tell me that I am
Is there any way that I can stay in your arms?
yes those discribe me right now///InHiShadowPosted at 01:30 pm by inhishadow
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